He is a different person now. We believe different things. He stands for different things. He has done many things I can't stand the thought of. Why can't I say I don't want another chance? Why does part of me still want him back? What would that even look like?

EX-Husband Week - If you thought your spouse was your best friend, who worked hard for you, who would stay with you through thick and thin, who would always love you even when you were at your worst, and to whom you used to be PROUD to be married to, copy and paste this with the year you were married and divorced. 1994-2011

I keep seeing the loving version of this on FB. It irritates me. Not that I want others to be unhappy, but I am sick of being unhappy. I'm nothing but an embarassment to him. A part of his life he wants to forget ever existed. He has someone else now. I believe he would happily never even talk to me again if it weren't for our kids. Not really sure what I did to make him turn against me so thoroughly. He's the one who cheated. I guess I had some nerve forgiving him.

I am truly stuck. I can't stand him being with her, but cannot fathom forgiving him for everything he's said and done to me in the last 4 years. At least not to the extent of taking him back. But I cannot stand the thought of him giving himself body and soul to another woman. It feels like its killing me.